Episode 101 Homecoming
by Fullelven
Summary: The Jedi Civil War has finally concluded and the Onasi's have returned home at last from their Galatic Tour. Revan tagsalong at Carth's request, but what happens when the longing for her old life comes back?
1. Starlight Memories

**Episode 1.01: Homecoming**

_A KotOR Virtual Series by CarthsLostPadawan_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars nor KotOR. I wish... but that damn George Lucas used his Force Powers and copied the ideas from my mind. Before I could stop him, he had already marketed it... bastard._

**A/N: Okay, here' s the first chapter of the first episode of my KotOR Virtual Series: Redemption. Tell me what you think... just think of it... only 21 more installations to go. O.o;**

The newly christened, Admiral Carth Onasi... so beautiful. Truely he was and Revan couldn't help but feel a tear or two force their way through with her pride. _And he's all mine._ She thought to herself as she smiled and gripped tightly to his old orange pilot's jacket. Normally they would have required him return it to the Republic for another recruit, but after a bit of a protest and a little _persuasion_ -thank Force- Revan had convinced Admiral Dodonna to let him keep the jacket. It wasn't really so much as her obsession with the color orange, granted she had spent some time searching the galaxy for an orange lightsaber crystal, but it was the principal of the thing. She'd met Carth when he was wearing the jacket and she was going to be damned if she was going to let some Republic official take her memories away from her. She'd already let the Jedi Council do that to her once.

Carth finally finished shaking hands with all the big wigs and taking some pictures with them and Lieutenant Dol Grenn of the TSF, and snuck through to the back of the TSF audience room to Revan who was laying low in back. Alright, not so much _laying_ as she was using the Force to cloak her presence. She was still a Jedi and she being seen attatched to Carth's hip could not only endanger her role with the Jedi Order, but cost Carth his job. Relationships were fine for Admirals in the Galactic Republic Navy, but not so much with Jedi Knights that were once Dark Lord of the Sith. People tended to frown on that sort of thing; as if was a sin to have been the Dark Lord of the Sith and killed thousands of Jedi and converted thousands more. _Pfffffft. As if. _Revan tried to lighten her mood as he reached her and embraced her.

"They're going out to the Cantina after this is over. How about it, Gorgeous?" He questioned leaning in to whisper the last half in her ear. She shivered from the closeness, his warm breath tickling her outer ear. She should go... spend time with him... be like a real couple. _Real couple my ass._

"It's not really my scene, love. I think I'm going to head back to the Module. I've got a bit of a headache from cloaking my presence and we probably shouldn't be seen too awfully much together." She lied, closing her eyes and trying to feel the Force within him. In her time as a Jedi, her various masters had trained her to do many things, but Arren Kae had been a different one. She'd trained her the the Force was like a fingerprint and it touched everyone differently. It mapped different patterns through their very souls and you could pick up on them if you allowed the Force that was within you to mingle with theirs. Carth's patterns were like the autumn waves on Manaan with underneath the full moons. Calm, yet raging. She tried to burrow herself deeper, lose herself within it's flow. In ways, it was like a non-verbal/non-contact form of fornication, as if it was done a certain way, both people could reach a certain nirvana through it.

"Are you sure?" Carth asked, suddenly feeling electrified towards Revan. He let his hands trail from her bare shoulders and down her slinder arms and back up, looking as if he was in dire need. It had just washed over him so sudden, his honey brown eyes darkening with lust as well as his voice becoming as scruff as his whiskers. He hadn't ever felt it this strong before. And as soon as it began, it just stopped and he oddly felt cold and somewhat alone.

"Positive, lovey." She withdrawed from his Force completely and kissed his cheek. The hair there tickled her lips some and as she hugged him, it lightly touched her ear. _I need to get out of here before we give the Republic a nice soft core -- _She was distracted by Admiral Dodonna coming their way. Revan quickly Force Cloaked herself and slipped off even without Carth really noticing as he turned to face his senior officer.

The journey back to the Module was uneventful, Revan vouching for the longer walk than a quick transport between ports. She found, although she'd only really been here a week, that she missed the stars. Being inside Citadel Station every day and night, all day and night, was taking it's toll on her. Maybe it was just her fake memory, but from what she could remember, the stars had always been a part of her. She'd sneak out of the Enclave at times with Malak when they were both just younglings and lay out on the prairie gazing up at the stars. They'd talk for hours, just staring up at the black void, wondering what all was out there. What secrets awaited their impressionable minds once they became Knights.

_"So what do you think is out there, Revan? Do you think that there are monsters?" Malak wondered aloud as a meteor graced the sky. There was a pause where he heard a sharp intake of breath. Looking over to his friend, he found her eyes shut tight and her cheeks puffy with the air within. After a few moments, she released the air within and blinked her navy eyes a few times to allow them to focus. _

_"I don't know really, but once we get our sabers, you and I are going to find out." She turned to him finally, smiling. There was an odd look in her eyes, contimplative maybe. "Promise me. If you get your lightsaber before me and you finish your trials, you'll wait for me and we'll go explore the Galaxy together." _

_Malak thought on this some, his dark eyes seeming to glisten as he imagined what life would be beyond the Enclave and the walls of Dantooine. "Alright. But, you have to do the same for me. If you get through first, you have to wait for me. No matter what." When Revan saw the seriousness in his eyes, she sat up on her left elbow to examine him better. Was that... was there fear there in his eyes? "You're just... you're so far ahead of me in our studies and you learn so fast! You're bound to grow up to be better than me! You'll probably make master before you're 13!"_

_"Don't worry about it, man. We'll get out of here together and together, we'll rule the Galaxy! We'll be the best Jedi ever and we'll get rid of all the evil. They'll remember our names forever." She got up now, extending a hand to him to help him up. A cool breeze soared by, pushing her auburn hair and magenta front patch back behind her. _

_"How can you be so sure?" He asked as he took her hand and stood as well. The wind whipped through his short tawny blonde Padawan cut, the tail braid moving some. She looked up into the sky where the shooting star had just been moments earlier._

_"Cause I made a wish on the Force." She smiled and began to race for the Enclave. "Race you back! Loser is Master's pet to Vrook!" She laughed as she hurried back, taking full advantage of her head start._

_"Not fair! Get back here! Let's start over!" He called hurring to catch up."_

Revan reached the door to their apartment, waving a hand before it to will it open. The hydrolics hissed within it and it slid open easily, hissing once again as it shut soundly behind her. Sorrow now overcame her as she walked over to the bed and did all but fell down onto it. She lay for a moment on her side, just gazing at the bare grey wall in front of her, sighing. Life had been so uncomplicated when she was a youngling... _And back then I knew who I was and my home... now there's nowhere for me. I'm nothing more than a drifter._

Of course, back then, Malak had been right. Revan had been the first of them to gain her lightsaber and rank of knight. But true to her promise... _and my heart... _she had stayed behind to wait for him, helping the Masters with the younglings and such. And just about the time Malak had gotten the title of Knight... the Mandalorian Wars started.

**A/N: Okay, Chapter One of Episode 1.01. I hope you like it so far. This is all really unplanned... I know the theme of the story, but not how I'm getting there. So, if you review, I know I've done something right. ;-)**


	2. Unrequited Love

**Episode 1.01: Homecoming**

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up. It was a little hard for me to write now that I have a Job and with MAP testing coming up really soon. Anywho, enjoy! **

_The wind whipped hard along the outside of the Dantooine Enclave as Revan stared up at the very stars that she had admired nearly ten years ago. Had it really been that long? She had to ask herself. It seemed like just yesterday that she and Malak had been chosen by Masters…_

_Ah…. Malak…_

_The cheers were still coming loudly from the inside of the Attendance Hall where the Graduation Ceremony was going on for Malak. Revan closed her eyes and took a long drag from the deathstick in her right gloved palm as she listened, smirking at the excited jeers from the new alumni who ignited their ceremonial lightsabers. I'm so proud of him._

_Isn't a time to be proud, just yet. Not with the secrets the Master's were hiding from those within. She reminded herself. And I'll be the one to save the Republic… me and Malak. She smiled at the thought of him, a small subtle smile that showed her innocence that she though had gone long ago._

_"Revan! Hey! Check it out!" Came a soothing call from the far wall. She hastily dropped the deathstick and ground it out with her boot before approaching him. He didn't like the idea of her smoking, not because it wasn't lady like… but because he worried. Usually when she lit up, that meant there was some really bad news._

_"You got it!" She smirked to Malak as he looked at her with a look of heartbreak in his eyes. Damn, he noticed. She thought to herself. Trying to recover lost ground and change the subject, she focused on his new toy. "So, lets see it!"_

_There was a moment where he didn't say a word to her. He just stared at her with a condesendiing look that shot daggers, and she wasn't so sure that he wouldn't just run off now or give her the guilt trip of her life. But he sighed as his expression changed to a slightly more happy one, he not able to contain his excitement. There was an electric hum that sounded as a yellow light emerged and lit up the night. "Took me longer than it did you though… I didn't think I'd ever get it."_

_She patted his back, half-heartedly and he could tell by the way her mysterious eyes stared threw him though she gazed directly at him, that there was something big getting ready to go down. "Why weren't you in there at the Ceremony. The Masters are becoming suspicious about your odd behavior as of late. Master Vrook-"_

_Revan put a hand up, shutting him up. "Master Vrook is a fool and will lead you all down a horrible road as his reign ends!" She spat a little more angrilly than she meant. "Master Kavar, Atris, and the others as well!" Revan turned from Malak, putting a little space in between them and spoke with her back turned to him. "I spoke with that Republic Officer who had taught us Pazaak when we were thirteen. He's an Admiral now. Admiral Karath… he was recruiting people to come help with the war against the Mandalorians. Iridonia has just fallen and without the help of the Jedi Council, the Republic will surely fall."_

_Revan turned, a fire in her eyes that Malak had never seen before. He nearly took a literal step back from her as she looked desperately at him. "This is our chance Malak. To see the Galaxy and save it at the same time. We made a promise to each other and now the Galaxy is begging us to keep it. We have to go beyond the Jedi Council's wishes and join the war. And we have to recruit others. We cannot let the Republic fall!" _

Revan's heart shuttered at the feelings rushing over her. And overwhelming feeling of self loathing for what she had done to Malak. The path she had drug him down. She'd loved him from the beginning, of that she was sure. Ever since they first met in the Enclave on Couresant and then later transferred together to Dantooine. Bored and trapped on a boring planet. What else was there to do than to play with danger and fall in love?

Revan turned over again, her heart ached. Would she do the some thing to Carth? He'd follow her blindly, now that he trusted her. That was his one and only weakness. He trusted little, but when he gave in, he fell like a blind idiot... hard. There was nothing to catch him and she did nothing to stop him. She hadn't known... or remembered... what it was like to be in love. To be loved in return. Nor did she remember the dangers that came with it. But she did drag him down, wishing that he'd love her. Nearly demanding it. And then her secrets were shown and she hurt him... and all the memories of loving Malak had come back.

She remembered what it had been like to be in love with Malak and not have the emotions returned. She had loved him and her feelings hadn't had to go unrequited for long. She remembered following taking Malak to Saul and the ride in her ship on the way.

_She gazed glassy-eyed out the window, the dizzying patterns of hyperspace both blinding her and hypnotizing her. But her mind wasn't there. It was on _him_, his very presence. She loved him and as soon as she thought the words, her heart clenched and nearly ceased all together. While it was that she loved him, she knew that her love would go forever unreturned. _

_Unknowningly, she reached into her pocket and lit up a deathstick, taking a deep drag as carbon burned the back of her throat and singed her lungs. It was a welcome feeling and she closed her eyes to savor it. Letting her emotional pain be drown within the small mass of physical pain. "Space woman! Why must you do that! You're killing yourself!" Came an outburst from the doorway that caused Revan to jump and rush to put out the thing. She didn't have to wait for long as Malak yanked it from her hand and tossed it on the ground, grinding it out with his foot. Looking up at him, she noticed he had shaved his head. _

_"You're hair... it's-" He shook his head._

_"No, this isn't about me. Why do you do that to yourself? Why do you do it to me?" His last sentence was quieter, as if he hadn't really wanted her to hear it. _

_"What are you talking about? I've smoked forever? It hasn't ever bugged you before. I just needed to relax, and well... not much happening in Hyperspace right now." She covered. She had nothing, she knew that. But there was no use covering now. "Why is it that you care all of a sudden?"_

_He sighed hard, not really knowing what to say. His mouth fell open and then closed, opening again as to speak and then closed once more. Revan had to inwardly remark that he reminded her a little of a fish having an oxygen crisis, but she stifled that thought quick before she could burst out in a fit of giggles and caused him to be offended. "I've always cared, and I could tell in your eyes that night I graduated back on Tatooine that you knew it. You just never cared about my feelings enough to stop." His reply was soft, scared to even speak the words._

_"Never cared, Malak, I love you!" Neither one spoke and the silence burned at her ears until she wanted to claw at him to get inside her mind and see what the hell possessed her to speak those words. But it was all out there now and she paled with the exception of the crimson she felt forcing itself to the surface of her skin. Malak just blinked at her, unable to form words right now. Several excrusiating moments of silence passed until Revan could no longer take it. Either someone spoke or coughed or something, or she was going to have to trust in the Force to make herself be invisible. Neither happened, so she booked. Rushing from the room, she headed for her quarters. _

_There were tears coming from her eyes as she attempted to suffocate herself with the plush pillow on her bunk. Alright, not exactly suffocate, but it would look as such to the naked eye. It wasn't until there was a gentle touch on her shoulder that her sobs broke and she looked up. "What do you-" A strong finger silenced her full lips as, soon replaced by a set of lips of his own. It was akward, yet so right. Perfection rang through her mind as she came out of her shock and touched a gloved hand to his smooth cheek. Even through the leather she could feel it's softness. Warmth bled though her with each quickening pound of her heart. She was alive for the first time in nineteen years._

"Damn it!" Revan scream tossing the first thing she could find and watching it hit the wall. Her lightsaber hit it with a loud clank and clunked onto the floor, little bits of shattered crystal falling out and litering the ground around it. _I failed another, again. What is it with me that causes others to fall without question until they ultimately meet their own demise at the expence of my succession? But I don't succeed and their deaths will all be in vein. Every last damn one of them!_

"Revan, are you alright... or is this an episode that you would rather me miss?" Came a call from the doorway. Dustil peeked around the corner adorned in his Padawan robes, hair in the traditional short buzz with braid. Revan hid her tear streaked face within the pillow and when she didn't reply, Dustil tried again. "Father sent me by here on my way back from the party. He wanted to make sure you were alright. It might be awhile until he can sneak away."

Revan said nothing, yet waved him away, wishing for morning to come just a little faster.

**A/N: Chapter Two Completed. Look for the conclusion in Chapter Three, coming soon!**


	3. Sold My Soul

**Title: Episode 1.03 Sold My Soul**

**Author: CarthsLostPadawan**

**Author/Note: Yes, at long last, the finally to the first installment is here. This is not for the young. That's for sure. So, sit back and read. Tell me how you like it. With what you guys tell me, I'll base what I'm going to do with the next story Him.**

_I pushed you in so deep that you had no other choice but to drown... or continue on with the pain of the struggle. _Xeryn relented herself inwardly. Letting her eyes slip closed against her will. With each blink she was overrun with more painful visions and memories.

_"Are you sure we should be messing with these Star Maps. I mean, it's one thing that we're going to face exile when we return from the war, but these maps exude Dark energy!" Malak questioned as he stared up at the bunk above him where Revan lay now. There was a silent pause before he heard an exasperated sigh._

_"Who said we ever have to go back?" Revan spat irritatedly as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the upper bunk and gazed down. "We're the driving force in this war! Without us and those we recruited, the Republic would be no more and we'd all be fluent in Mandalorian!" She let emotion roll over her and push forth, using it's effect to make her conviction apparent to Malak._

_"But, Revan..." Malak tried but faultered. He didn't know what to say. His head told him this was all wrong, but his heart just screamed for Revan. That's all it knew... all its ever known._

_"Malak, we're commanders of our own Republic fleet! Even Admiral Karath serves under us!" Revan began, revelling in the large amount of power they both possessed. She jumped down from her bunk and landed gracefully before the conflicted Malak. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly, kissing it. Her navy blue eyes more silver than usual._

_Malak smiled a soft grin that was nearly simpathetic. "Just make sure that the people they are remembering are truely the people we are right now." He scooted closer to her, his face hovering just inches before hers. _

_"Oh, and just _who _am I now?" Revan questioned coyly moving closer. Their lips barely grazed each others, erecting a slight inadvertant gasp from another's mouths. "Are you afraid I'm forgetting who I am and falling to the Dark Side?" _

_Malak placed a hand on her pale cheek, pushing the stray magenta hair aside. "I'll just have to remind you when I rescue from the dark." The space between them closed and their lips met in a hungry kiss._

"Are you still up, Gorgeous?" Carth called as he slinked into the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

The compartment was silent as he made his way blindly to the bed. The lights were off and he didn't really find it right for him to wake her in these early hours.

Instictively, he folded his uniform and lay it on the chair next to the bed, leaving him in his white boxer shorts. He slid silently between the fresh chilled linen and lay a protective arm over his love.

It took him by surprize. however, when she turned over and lay a kiss on his lips with more passion than he'd ever felt before. His brown eyes widened and it took a moment for his brain to wake up before he returned the kiss in earnest. But, it was only a moment before he pulled away, chest heaving slightly. "I didn't mean to wake you, Beautiful."

"Don't speak." She demanded in a whisper with a finger pressed to his full glossy lips. She took his mouth roughly once more and he abided to her wishes.

"_Don't speak." Revan demanded in a needy whisper, flatening a slinder index finger to Malak's parted lips. She once again captured his hungry mouth with hers letting her passion be her guide._

_The night blurred as well as the line that divided where she ended and he began. Heart rates quickened, hands groped, mouths engaged blindly in the darkness. The Force almost literally burned around them causing their skin to prickle. _

_Soon their bodies moved as one, eyes locked in a heated gaze daring the other to close their eyes, or to look away. The sensations washing over them were unbelevable... inconcievable to all but the parties involved. She remembered something Arren Kae had taught her and hastily broke the bonds to her Force connection and let it fall in a rush over Malak, mixing with his. She arched her back and felt him move a hand to support her. His eyes were nearly black with lust._

_"Revan"_

"Revan." Carth grasped using the hand on the small of her back to move her into more of a sitting position and helf her to him. Lackadasical kisses were exchanged recklessly as their sweat mixed and mingled in the electrified places where their bodies touched.

She finally closed her eyes, falling into the Force. A pure Nirvana washed over her and intensified the further she fell. Their hearts beat in sync with one another as they danced their sinful tango of strained lust. The Force flared with each new beat, quickening until it was almost too much for her.

_Her nails deep into Malak's flesh that was cooled with a thick layer of persperation. He gasped loudly rolling them to their sides, but never once breaking their rhythm. _

_Her entire body was aching... aching for more... for a release... It ached with anxiety for what was to come. She went to get as close as she could or possibly push him away. She craved for his touch, but couldn't take anymore. Her entire body felt like a rubber band pulled taut as she began to shake. She clenched her eyes shut and kissed Malak hard._

The air stung Carth's back where her nails had dug in, but the mixture of that and her release was too much for him. His eyes threatened to roll in the back of his head as he felt himself let go and go over. They shook together until all that remained was the heated tingling sensations and the quivering of their bodies.

"I love you." He whispered as he kissed her forehead gently, still hold her close.

"I love you too." Letting the Force flow normally now, she opened her eyes to gaze upon her lover.

The dark, hollow eyes of Malak stared back at her. His pale, thin lips would have curled into a smile had he had a true bottom jaw and not a mechanical prostetic.

"Welcome home, Revan."

**A/N: Sorry about my long delay in entrees. I took a little hiatus to straighten ilfe out and then I got his with a stack of college classes for my Senior year of High School. Hope you like this. That's all for Episode one. Stay tuned for the second episode, Him.**


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